Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
