I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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