Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
