Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
