I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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