I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
