Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
