Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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