He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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