weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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