can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
