This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
