Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
