pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
