did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
