either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
