Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
