My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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