Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
