Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
