i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
