I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
