i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that š I went with "no"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Iām gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a ābrilliantā idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
