Dual....:-)
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
