Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
