marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
