belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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