You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
