Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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