I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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