we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
