hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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