So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
