And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
