on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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