Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
