if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
All I want is dick and wine.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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