I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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