i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
