and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
