when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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