Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Your topless pictures make me question reality
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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