So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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