I didn't shave. On purpose
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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