Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Randomize
