Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
