Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
