i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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