that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i wish my penis had a tongue
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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