Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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