i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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