How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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